Trying to Do It All? Same. Here’s What I Learned.
It’s hard to balance everything that comes your way when you become a manager for the first time.
I remember feeling completely overwhelmed—like I had to do everything, and it all had to be done right now.
It took me a while to figure out how to handle all the new responsibilities: answering questions from my team, reporting up to my manager, coordinating with other departments, and suddenly being in way more meetings than I ever thought possible.
My first instinct? Do it all. No matter how many hours it took.
Spoiler alert: that was a fast track to exhaustion. I got so worn down I nearly fell asleep during my 15-minute commute to work. Yikes.
So I tried a new approach. I canceled every meeting I could—including 1:1s with my team—and told them to stop by if they needed anything. Then I shut my office door and powered through the task list.
That didn’t go well either. Within a few weeks, the vibe had shifted—dramatically. Where there used to be laughter and energy, things felt tense and too quiet, like the calm before a storm.
When I finally mentioned it to my manager, she asked, “What are they saying in your 1:1s?”
I had to admit I’d canceled them. I told her I was too busy trying to stay on top of everything else.
That’s when she said something I’ll never forget:
“Look, I don’t expect you to do it all. The work is never-ending. But I do expect you to take care of your people. That’s the most important.”
I was embarrassed—and scared she’d decide I wasn’t cut out to be a manager after all.
But instead of writing me off, she helped me figure it out. She told me that she’d struggled too when she first became a manager, and together we worked out a third approach. One that finally worked:
1. Build good relationships.
You’re not just managing tasks—you’re leading people. Taking the time to build trust helped me reconnect with my team, get us aligned, and remind everyone (including me) that we were in it together.
2. Prioritize, ruthlessly.
A mentor once told me, “If you have more than three priorities, you don’t have any.” I couldn’t keep working a bazillion hours, so I started setting clear weekly priorities—and sticking to them. Bonus tasks only if time allowed. I still use this approach 20 years later.
3. Delegate without guilt.
This was the hardest shift. I felt like giving away work was burdening my team—but my manager pointed out that not delegating was actually holding them back. I began asking, “What needs to be done by me vs. what just needs to be done?” That mindset shift turned delegation into development, and my team was excited to step up.
Twenty years later, this approach still holds up. I’ve used it to lead teams, train new managers, and coach rising leaders—just like you.
If you’re in that overwhelming season of leadership, you don’t have to do it alone.
Let’s talk. I offer free 30-minute calls for new and emerging managers who want to lead with more confidence—and less burnout.
Bring your questions ❓
Your challenges 😵💫
Or just your “where do I even start?” 🤷♀️
We’ll figure it out together.
Click here to grab a spot on my calendar and let’s get you moving toward a leadership style that actually works for you.
You already have what it takes—let’s build the tools to back it up.