If Leadership Is About People, Why Doesn’t It Look That Way?
There are some folks in very public leadership positions who don’t seem to know what it means to be a good leader.
At its core, leadership is about leading people - and that starts with caring about them.
This isn’t some new “woke” idea. I recently came across a 1960 book titled How to Manage People. I picked it up expecting outdated advice, but right on the second page it says:
“Asked to name personal characteristics [the successful leaders surveyed] felt were most needed by an executive, an overwhelming majority pinpointed ‘ability to work with people.’ This, they explained, included a liking for people, an interest in them, a desire to help and develop them.”
And there it is: the foundation of good leadership.
When leaders care about people, they think carefully about how decisions affect them. But when they lose sight of this, it opens the door to poor choices. If a leader doesn’t care about the impact of their decisions, then it doesn’t matter to them if people get hurt. Over time, these choices pile up, the leader becomes isolated, and they convince themselves that no one else can see their “vision” - justifying even more bad decisions.
For first-time managers, this can be confusing and discouraging. It’s hard to see experienced leaders succeed while showing little care for the people they lead. It can make you question if you even want to step into leadership.
Years ago, a colleague shared exactly this worry. She was respected and being encouraged to lead, but told me:
“If [senior leader] can act like a jerk and still be seen as successful, why would I want to be a leader? I don’t want to be like that. And if that’s what it takes, I don’t think I can.”
I understood her frustration. When the examples around you seem to succeed despite treating people poorly, it can feel like you have to choose between caring about people or being successful. But it doesn’t have to be either/or. It can be “yes, and.”
So how do you do that?
Surprisingly, that old 1960 guide still has good advice:
1. Treat people like people.
Show genuine interest. Keep your one-on-ones, ask questions, and use team meetings to connect—not just check boxes. Celebrate wins and milestones. People work better when they know someone truly cares.
2. Understand your team members’ aspirations and motivations.
When you know what drives your people, you can align work with what matters to them. It keeps them engaged and builds trust.
3. Help them grow.
Point out strengths, identify gaps, and give them chances to stretch and lead. Their growth helps your whole team succeed.
4. Use feedback to develop, not just correct.
Start with the intent to help them do better. Use clear, fact-based feedback (like the S.B.I. model: Situation, Behavior, Impact) so it feels supportive, not personal. Done well, feedback shows you care and want them to thrive.
In the end, leadership isn’t about titles or power—it’s about people.
Caring isn’t weakness. It’s what makes leadership both meaningful and effective.
And yes—you really can do both.
If you’d like support figuring out how to lead with care and confidence, I’d love to help.
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