Trust is earned — in micro-moments you might not even notice at first
Stepping into a new leadership role can feel like standing at the edge of a vast, unknown territory. You want your team to come to you, but sometimes, it feels like they’re bypassing you altogether. I recently worked with a new manager facing exactly this challenge. What she discovered might surprise you: trust isn’t something you demand or announce - it’s built quietly, one small moment at a time.
When a new manager I coached first stepped into her role, she was determined to do everything right. But right away, she hit a wall:
“They keep going around me to my manager. How do I get them to come to me instead?”
She had been promoted into a newly created manager position, and the transition was challenging. To bridge the gap, she tried everything that seemed logical:
- Making it a rule to come to her first
- Setting office hours so her team could talk to her
- Announcing her role and availability in team meetings
- Even bringing treats to create connection
She was working so hard to make trust happen in one big push, she couldn’t see what was missing: trust rarely blooms from policy or performance - it grows, quietly, through everyday moments.
We talked about what it might look like to earn trust in small ways:
- Solving an actual problem the team had raised (in her case, a frustrating scheduling issue)
- Spending time alongside team members, learning about their work instead of just directing it
- Recognizing great work when she saw it, and saying so, directly and personally
- Redefining relationships with those who had once been peers
Slowly, those small moments added up. The first time she stepped in to fix the scheduling problem, her team saw she could help them, not just manage them. When she spent time with them, she learned what mattered to them - and they felt seen. When she offered genuine recognition, it felt authentic, because it came from paying attention, not from obligation.
As weeks passed, our coaching conversations started to change. Instead of, “They’re still going around me,” she was fielding questions like:
"I'm not sure how to solve this problem - can you help me brainstorm solutions?"
“What can I do to help new team members get up to speed?”
“How do I grow into the next role?”
Her team had started to come to her—not because she told them to, but because through dozens of small, real moments, she showed them they could.
Where could you create a micro-moment of trust this week?
If you’d like help seeing those opportunities—and turning them into your own leadership wins—I’d love to talk.
📞 Book a free confidence & clarity call here to explore what building trust could look like in your role.